Breastfeeding Without Birthing - My Experience

Breastfeeding Without Birthing - My Experience

Breastfeeding Without Birthing - Yep! It’s a thing - and I did it!

In honor of World Breastfeeding Week, I wanted to share my breastfeeding journey (don’t worry – this picture won’t be offensive anymore once I explain). After a grueling path of infertility, including 4 rounds of IVF in under a year, 4 miscarriages and then learning we’d need a gestational surrogate to carry my embryos if I wanted a genetic child, I was spent. Tired out and so mad at my body for all the ways I thought it had failed me (which it hadn’t but I digress).

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Thankful Thursday - Taking A Time Out

Thankful Thursday - Taking A Time Out

Thankful Thursday – Taking a Time Out

Perhaps you noticed, maybe not, that there was no “Thankful Thursdays” the last couple of weeks. I (Mary) had every intention of doing one every Thursday but whoa – it was a rough two weeks.

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Building Relationships – Intended Parents & Gestational Surrogates

Building Relationships – Intended Parents & Gestational Surrogates

The key word from day 1 for both intended parents and the gestational surrogate is vulnerability. Yep, I know – that’s a scary word but hear me out. I often greet and welcome intended mothers into the most exclusive club of all time – a club we NEVER asked to be in. The “I need a gestational surrogate to carry my baby(ies) club.” Most often, we’ll chuckle about this but it really is the truth. In most cases the Intended Mothers have suffered tremendously trying to have a child. Infertility PTSD is a REAL thing. Then throw on top of that the fact that she can’t carry her own child (if it was ever to happen). I can instantly pull the exact moment out of my memory archives when I was told I’d need a surrogate. I’m transported back to the doctor’s office and can feel the chair beneath me, see exactly what I was wearing, the look in my husband’s eyes – all of it.  It’s been over 4 years since that day and it still feels so real when it pops up. I remember feeling absolutely alienated when I received the news. I was full of so much shame and heartbreak. How in the hell can’t my body do what it’s made to do?!

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Thankful Thursday - Unexpected Moments of Awe

Thankful Thursday - Unexpected Moments of Awe

Thankful Thursday – Unexpected Moments of Awe

Monday evening, sitting on the couch finally unwinding from a hellish few days with very sick twin 3 year-olds, feeling a bit lousy myself, a text popped up on my phone. Upon opening it, my breath completely left my body.  Aunt Diane, my father’s youngest sister (youngest of 9 total!) had found a photo of my father at age 6 or 7 that she thought I’d enjoy. I knew it was my father, of course but I was literally staring at my son Reed’s face just a few short years from now. I was overcome with emotion, tears filled my eyes. I was completely in awe. His sweet expression so comforting to me.

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